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The Grace of His Gaze
Wrap presents. Put up decorations. Maybe I need new lights since mine don’t sparkle just like the ones I saw on Instagram? Finish Christmas shopping. Can we all stay healthy for everything we have planned? How can I make this Christmas special for those around me? If you’re anything like me, this might be a…
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The Lost Treasure: the joy in being found
Have you ever felt lost before? Or maybe you feel lost while you are reading this? I’ve been there before and it is a lonely place. There is good news, friends! We can be found. I hope you’ll join me on my blog today to read about the ultimate finder of lost things. I pray…
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Rewriting Our Scars: is there even beauty there?
My son’s scream jolts me out of my thoughts as we walk over the rocky trail on a daily adventure. Sticking out his bottom lip, he looks up at me, “Mommy, it’s red. I’m bleeding. I need a Bandaid.” I reach into my bag and pull out a neon colored Bandaid, pulling off the wrapper…
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From Pressed to Praise
Recently, anxiety got the best of me by attaching securely like Velcro—hanging on my shoulder, pressing my chest, and making it hard to breathe. In that moment, I knew I needed to go to sleep, hopeful the morning would bring peace rather than anxiety. However, when I awoke, I couldn’t dislodge the restrictive strap of…
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A Heartbeat of Hope
I don’t know about you, but sometimes hope bubbles out of me and other days hope hangs elusively—just out of reach. Three years ago, I came close to losing hope. With the passing of each day, hope brightens, like rain easing after a downpour. After almost losing hope, its rediscovery is precious, something safely clasped.…
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The best kind of hope
“I really hope my kite will fly today,” my daughter says uneasily. Several Easters ago, both kids received kites and her brother’s soared beautifully, while hers struggled to make it off the ground. “We will give it our best shot,” I encourage. However, inside I also wonder if the kite will take flight. Uncertainty creeps…
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Morning Marathon: where does our help come from?
I glance at the clock. It’s 9:15 AM and I already feel like I’ve run a marathon. Note: I’ve not run a marathon, and those of you who have, you are rockstars! I know my body is not near as tired as I write this as yours is after a race. You, half-marathon or marathon…
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Worthy: God’s Whisper in Despair
You know those nights when tears soak your pillowcase leaving behind puffy eyes? Or tossing and turning is a constant companion, leaving you exhausted to face the day ahead? You are not alone; I’ve had those days, too. Take heart, dear one, God’s Word offers us a sweet truth for our worn-down souls. Even if…
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The Satisfier of Our Souls
Do laundry, pick up groceries, clean toilets, vacuum the endless dust bunnies, when was the last time I washed the sheets, and oh yeah, what are we even having for dinner? Does this list sound familiar to you? Often, I find myself believing the completion of this endless to-do list, will provide contentment. But, will…
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We might bend, but we won’t break
As a young child, I vividly remember fearfully peering out our basement window, watching the once tall tree giants bending, almost like Gumby, as tornado-like winds blew across our backyard. They are going to snap, I remember thinking. Now as an adult, I often feel like those trees, thinking, I’m going to snap. Have you…
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When Change Is Uncomfortable
Change makes me uneasy. The kind of discomfort where my stomach swirls and I’d rather run the other direction than cross the threshold of a new season. I want routines, on-time bedtimes, and easily manageable plans. The older I get, the more I realize the impossibility of this checklist. If this is you, friend, I…
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Hope When Our Lives Aren’t Perfect
I’m a perfectionist. Through and through. I crave order, things in place, perfectly crafted meals, precisely poured coffee, and a made bed complete with decorative pillows. I am also a mom of two young kids who love creating and playing. When a perfectionist mom collides with spur-of-the moment children, tension often overflows. If you can…
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When stillness is hard to find
Ever since I can remember, I’ve been a crank-the-music-up-loud kind of girl. My husband often jokes with me, “You were really jamming out in here,” when he hops in the car after I’ve been driving. My son follows in my footsteps as, “Turn it up,” is one of his favorite requests. So, today, when his…
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Embers of Light
The summer air surrounds me like a light blanket, an earthy fragrance with a hint of moisture. The breezeless air stills the trees, as if frozen, begging for someone to notice their grandeur. As the summer air swirls into my nose, I notice our garden. What started as tiny seeds dropped into the ground and…
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Whispered Truths
“I’m terrible at this,” these negative words escape my daughter’s mouth, piercing the air and also my heart. This phrase stings like an open wound, especially coming from the mouth of my six year old daughter. Please don’t think you are terrible at something already. Please don’t let the lies loom large already, God. Allow…
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Five Truths For Our Weary Souls
Two weeks ago, during a string of rough days, intrusive thoughts blared across my mind, leaving in their wake, a tear-stricken face and warped mind. I’m not sure what your hard season looks like—job loss, heavy-hearted loneliness, a difficult diagnosis, grief from losing a loved one, a broken relationship, anxious and depressive thoughts, an eating…
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Because of His Death: “the old has gone, the new is here!”
Have you ever felt like spring’s beginning is just plain yucky? As we squelch through muddy backyards, wipe filthy dog paws, or dig in dirt to plant hopeful seeds, it is easy to focus on the dirt caked upon our shoes or underneath our fingernails. In doing so, we often forget the new creations breaking…
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Is God Near When I Pray?
Do you ever struggle to pray in difficult seasons because you feel God is far away, so you don’t cry out to Him? God’s nearness is something I struggle to believe and feel, especially in difficult seasons. In His kindness, the Lord illustrates His nearness as I watch my daughter at the playground. I invite…
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The Dawn of Spring: the Shepherd’s hope in our weariness
My gray and green shoes pound the sidewalk pavement, while my hand loosely holds the ridged black leash. Following this long leash to its end, you will find my white faced, golden haired miniature golden doodle. Anxiety is all-consuming today– pulsing between my shoulder and scapula, palpitating tension throughout my body. I cannot seem to…
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Off the Bench: come to Jesus and find rest
My heart pounds in my chest like a pep band bass drum, setting a tempo too rapid for this occasion—sharing dinner with family and friends. In this moment, my body occupies a seat on the bench. The bench is a challenging place. I watch the game blur in front of me, wanting to join in,…
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Hagar’s Story is Ours: Sought and Seen
The anxiety twinges, slowly, spreading painful heat and prickling across my shoulder. Our room is dark; my husband soundly sleeping next to me. It seems that the enemy knows in this moment I am all alone, and the sadness, shame, and unworthiness begin to creep up from my insides. This life is so hard. Fighting…
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My View From Counseling
I know I need to go and I also really don’t want to—these thoughts hang simultaneously in the air. Does anyone want to voluntarily sign up to work through hard things with someone they don’t know very well? Definitely not me. I text a friend, please check in with me to make sure I schedule…
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Like Velcro: trusting another with my dark thoughts
From thousands of feet in the air, I found myself looking down at the Indiana countryside, wind rushing past my face through an open airplane door. My palms wet with sweat, heart thumping, and legs trembling, I braced myself for what came next. “Okay, you have to jump!” the skydive instructor, who I was securely…
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What’s on the Menu: When God’s Provision Comes in a Pill
Before I share my story, I know it is important to recognize that there are varying opinions about taking medication to relieve anxiety and depression. I encourage you to talk to a physician, psychiatrist, or counselor to figure out what is best for you. I am sharing my story because I want you to know…
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Buoyant Beauty
What do you think of when you think of the word, beauty? Do you picture a model, a perfectly decorated home, or an influencer wearing the latest styles? Or maybe an ornately plated gourmet meal? Or a watercolor painting of a sunset? Beauty captivates, enthralls, mesmerizes, and inspires. I find that when I mindlessly scroll…
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Where is Jesus in My Darkest Moments?
Do you struggle with day upon day of slate gray, dull, wintery days? You know, the ones where darkness creeps in before 5 PM? Me too. Honestly, I am deeply afraid of this season. The darkness of night often breeds opaqueness within my soul, where depression and anxiety lurk in the shadows, ready to pounce.…
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Snowflakes of Grace
Slow day, snow day, surprise snowball in my eye day. Play day, reading day, it’s okay to take a break day. Cozy up, lay down, may we remember we are not lost, but found. Oh, how my heart needed the sweet serenade of these powdery flakes. Dancing lightly, falling softly, draping the lifeless wintry land…
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How He Sees You
Do you ever feel alone, like no one truly sees you? Like you have no value or nothing to offer those around you? I have been there many times; in fact, I am experiencing one of those moments as I write these words in the school pick up line waiting to scoop up my daughter…
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The Shepherd of Our Dark Valleys
Written in March of 2022 Feelings whirl within me, so forceful I might implode, broken and left for dead. Questions circle my mind like vultures, What now? How do I move forward? How do I live with this pain? How do I make sense of this and use my story? I slowly feel the familiar…
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Refuge of Grace
The “why” behind my blog, Refuge of Grace. I desire to share about my journey of resting in God’s refuge of grace in the middle of the storm of depression and anxiety.
Refuge of Grace
writing from within the storm, resting underneath His rock of refuge, breathing in His sunset of grace
Refuge of Grace 