Tag: depression
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Good morning, anxiety…
Good morning, anxiety. I feel you spiking each time I think of one more thing to do. You pound me, driving me further into the ground. You take my breath away, making it hard to breathe. Good morning, God. I blink trying to take in the beauty around me and fight away the stabbing anxiety.…
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Glittering Motherhood?
I scrub dishes over the sink, just like I do every morning. The rushing water drowns out the voices of my son and daughter, creating throughout the stage and art studio of our home. This morning, unbeknownst to me, my daughter decided to outline her newly penned drawing with milky white Elmer’s glue and sprinkle,…
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Silhouettes of Summer
The sun dips below the horizon, releasing water colors of blue, purple, and orange bleeding across the vast expanse of sky. The dark outline of the trees dances and sways in front of the tapestry of changing colors. A bird, as black as the night that will soon come, flutters across the sky. The colors…
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The Renewed Dancer: A Masterpiece
My hands lightly grip a thrilling fiction book. As I look up, I remind myself that I am not really living and breathing in this page-turner. I take a deep breath, lowering my heart rate. I sit poolside, inhaling fresh summer air, my body soaking in the warm sun. This week, we are dog-sitting for…
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Claiming God’s Presence in Dark Moments
Written in March of 2022 My mind is foggy, like nothing that I am processing makes sense. My phone registers 35 unread messages, but I cannot even begin to read them, they are like a foreign language. From downstairs, I can hear music from Encanto lofting up the stairway. I hear giggles, squeals, and little…
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Beholding the Sky
Written in March of 2022 I find myself nestled in the plush white chair in the corner of our room, draped in a blanket. This spot is familiar to me like my morning cup of coffee. I didn’t make it outside today. My body was too physically exhausted and the onset of a cold kept…
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The Shepherd of Our Dark Valleys
Written in March of 2022 Feelings whirl within me, so forceful I might implode, broken and left for dead. Questions circle my mind like vultures, What now? How do I move forward? How do I live with this pain? How do I make sense of this and use my story? I slowly feel the familiar…
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Safe Haven
written in March of 2022 Curled up under a blanket, my lifeless body soaks in the afternoon sun as its beams spill across our living room. The sun’s rays caress my pale face. Closing my eyes, I can almost feel the grainy sand and hear the whoosh of the Pacific Ocean. Imagining this faraway shore…
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When Depression and Anxiety Are Debilitating/Hope When Anxiety and Depression Are Debilitating
Paralyzing anxiety surfaces, stretching painfully between my left shoulder and neck. I try getting out of bed, but I can’t. I gain enough strength to hoist myself upright, my body quickly heaves in sobs. I can’t even imagine showering, let alone caring for my family. Sometimes all I can do is stare at the wall,…
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It was just supposed to be a trip to Target
written in March of 2022 It was just supposed to be a trip to Target. My daughter woke up with a stomach bug at 6:30 this morning. We were in survival mode the last month, so we didn’t have any of the necessities needed when a child is sick. The early weeks of my medication…
Refuge of Grace 