The thoughts destructively cartwheeled through my head before I even opened my eyes. Groggily I sat up praying for aid, already battling the negative thoughts taking root. As I washed my face and brushed tangles from my hair, I clung to prayer. Help me, Jesus. Help me in this pain. Help me remember what is true. Looking in the mirror, the face reflecting back at me gave no inkling of the hurt simmering beneath the facade.
Three years ago, my husband graciously renovated our dining room. This was the first time I watched trim pulled from walls, revealing cob webs, dirt, and dust. Peering at the insides of our wall, it hit me. That’s me. I’m just like the dirt and grime. The cobwebs are the thoughts I don’t want anyone to know I have, the dirt is the past I wish I could do over, and the dust bunnies are the hurts which threaten to define me.
In the midst of depression, I came face to face with the yuck and I felt so alone. How could anyone else possibly understand? Thoughts like this permeated my mind, further driving me into isolation. Over the last several years, the Lord has graciously reminded me of this powerful truth—we are not alone because Jesus is near. In Philippians 4:5 Paul writes,
“The Lord is at hand.”
—Philippians 4:5 (ESV)
In the New International Version, Paul’s words are translated to, “The Lord is near” (Philippians 4:5). His nearness provides comfort—a lap to rest upon, arms strongly embracing us, a hand clasping ours. His closeness helps us begin to untangle the cobwebs of past hurts.
On our own, pain feels overwhelming and almost impossible to heal. However, because of Jesus, we no longer gaze into the cobweb-filled walls alone, but our Savior is there with us. As we look into all the yuck, Jesus’ hand graciously clears it away, reminding us those lies do not define us. He does. His restoration is more beautiful than anything we could imagine.
The Bible is full of stories and words which tell the story of redemption and restoration. I will never tire of these hope-sewn verses. One of my favorites is from the words of Isaiah in Isaiah 51:3. He writes,
“For the LORD comforts Zion; he comforts all her waste places and makes her wilderness like Eden, her desert like the garden of the LORD; joy and gladness will be found in her, thanksgiving and the voice of song.”
—Isaiah 51:3 ESV
As seen in these words from Isaiah, our God is a God of restoration. Just as God graciously turns deserts into gardens, several weeks later in our dining room, we traded the yuck for a fresh coat of paint and trim. The old wall has a new identity—eggshell white wanescotting and a deep blue top. And friends, that’s us—when we believe in Jesus, we are restored. This earthly home renovation is a tiny glimpse into the forever restoration waiting for us in heaven. And oh, how near Jesus will be then.
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