Refuge of Grace

Paralyzing anxiety surfaces, stretching painfully between my left shoulder and neck. I try getting out of bed, but I can’t. I gain enough strength to hoist myself upright, but my body quickly heaves in sobs. I can’t even imagine showering, let alone caring for my family. Sometimes all I can do is stare at the wall, anxious thoughts pinging through my brain. Since a young age, I believed my value came from always doing. So in this season of despair, where I am unable to do anything, I feel void of value. Can you relate? Let’s turn to God’s Word for comfort and truth today.

In Psalm 139:14, the psalmist encourages,

“I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made. Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well.”

-Psalm 139:14 Christian Standard Bible

According to the Miriam-Webster Dictionary, the definition of wondrous is something “that is to be marveled at; extraordinary.” These favorite graces from the Lord come to mind when I think of extraordinary: a breathtaking sunset, a bouquet of bubblegum pink tulips opening towards the sunlight, or a blue sky sponged with fluffy white clouds. This is how the psalmist describes all of God’s works, including us, friend. Wondrous. We are God’s creation and He marvels at us. His delight in us doesn’t change based on our abilities or accomplishments. Therefore, even in a season of debilitating depression and anxiety or grief, we are still valuable simply because we are wondrously made by the Creator.

Let’s let the earlier words of Psalm 139 in verse 5 pour over our souls,

“You have encircled me; you have placed your hand on me.”

-Psalm 139:5 Christian Standard Bible

Envision God’s mighty hand upon on us, easing our tension, loosening our shoulders and necks. God’s loving hand reminds us our value does not rely upon the racetrack of striving, but in the truth God alone created us wondrously with His hands.

In the pit of suffering, friends, let’s remember these truths. We are valued when we grieve. We are wondrously made when we feel empty. We are God’s extraordinary creation, even when we have to ask others for help. God desires us, even when the sadness is so thick we cannot begin to verbalize it. We have value even when we stare blankly into space. Our heads are crowned with worth, even though the anxiety tightens our chests and shoulders, making it impossible to do daily tasks. We are still valued, even when we can’t get out of bed.

Further in Psalm 139, new words trickle off the page. The comforting words of verses 7-12, quench our desolate souls,

“Where can I go to escape your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to heaven, you are there; if I make my bed in Sheol, you are there. If I live at the eastern horizon or settle at the western limits, even there your hand will lead me; your right hand will hold on to me. If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will hide me, and the light around me will be night’–even the darkness is not dark to you. The night shines like the day; darkness and light are alike to you.”

-Psalm 139: 7-12 Christian Standard Bible

Let’s allow this truth to wash over us. No matter what darkness heartache, grief, or loss catapult us into, God is there, ready to turn the darkness into light. How desperately our souls need this light, His light.

In closing, I encourage you to take a moment to read Psalm 139 slowly, savoring each word your mouth forms, speaking His Word to your heart. No matter our circumstances, we are wondrously valued simply because God formed us with His own hands. He is with us always and He loves us. Weary friend, I hope these beautiful truths cover you in comfort today.