Refuge of Grace

Ever since I can remember, I’ve been a crank-the-music-up-loud kind of girl. My husband often jokes with me, “You were really jamming out in here,” when he hops in the car after I’ve been driving. My son follows in my footsteps as, “Turn it up,” is one of his favorite requests.

So, today, when his tiny three year old voice chirped from the backseat, “Can we turn the music down?” I uneasily obliged and suddenly, silence filled the car. You see, I am uncomfortable in silence. At first, I wasn’t sure what to do. Should I talk to him? Try to ask him about his day? Or have him tell me a story? Or play a rhyming game? My mind swirled with endless possibilities of how to fill this quiet. Instead, I held back my desire to talk and we sat, dwelling in the stillness together.

In this moment, the Lord brought to mind the verse Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God (ESV).” This verse hangs prominently in our house, because as a doer, I need frequent reminders to be still before the Lord. After spending more time in the earlier verses of this psalm, I noticed how the psalmist lists multiple calamities such as the earth collapsing and the mountains shaking. Even in these catastrophes, the psalmist declares God is sovereign.

During my day, I do not come face-to-face with the events the psalmist describes; however, my home often exudes stress as sibling squabbles reign supreme or I bounce from one task to the next without pause. I wonder what it would look like if I sought this silence to declare God’s sovereignty?

In the Young’s Literal Translation of the Bible, this verse reads, “Desist, and know that I am God.” The Merriam-Webster definition of desist is “to cease to proceed or act.” Replacing be still with desist gives this passage a more commanding tone. God insists we stop acting and humble ourselves, recognizing He is the God above all. As I desist, I relinquish my strength and I rest in His sovereignty, no matter the circumstances. Suddenly, the stillness becomes an opportunity to realign my heart with God.

If like me, you struggle being still, you might wonder, what does it look like to be still and recognize God as sovereign in the everyday moments? Here are a few ways I am currently trying to desist and proclaim God’s sovereignty in my life. I’d love for you to join me!

• Looking into the eyes of my children and thanking God for their creation. He is our sovereign creator.
• Letting sadness wash over me and tears flow, knowing Christ is with me. God is our sovereign comforter.
• Taking a deep breath, trusting in God’s sovereignty over the future of my family and friends. He is our faithful provider.
• Letting a task be unfinished, pausing to remember stillness is okay and I don’t have to move quickly to the next task. God requires my heart, not my completed to-do list.

As I settle into the silent stillness, I am finding there is much to be learned from turning the music down. Let’s desist together, friends, and watch what God does in our lives and hearts.